Song Association

If you know me at all, you know that I LOVE music. My favorite types of music are Progressive Rock/Metal (Dream Theater, Rush, Kansas, Yes) and Hard/Alternative Rock (Led Zeppelin, Alice In Chains, Disturbed) to name a few.

Song Association

1994 - I was 20 years old. Weekend warrior. Working at Arby's as a "Super" Maintenance Man. For the most part, didn't have a care in the world. Until one day and I remember the day like it was today; I came home from YSU and my Mom met me at the door to tell me that one of my best friends (Mike Blue) committed suicide. I've never felt pain like that, up to that point in my life. Like a round house kick to the chest.

I say all that to share this song by Alice In Chains:



In September of 1994 - Through that tragedy, it produced a questioning season of my life. "Where did Mike go?" "Is there a G-d?" "What's missing in my life?" "Where will I go when I die?" - Jesus was willing & able to reach me in that pain and radically change my life forever. Out of all this, I am especially thankful for His love and healing.

15 years later, I still dream about that kid. I will never be able to listen to that song without seeing him through my minds eye. Such a strong bond between emotion & music.

Marley's Unconditional Love

We just watched "Marley & Me" tonight. The movie brought me to tears. My chest hurt. At one point, I cried hard enough that I started laughing (felt silly but was real). See, I also have a dog (identical to Marley actually). The unconditional love of a dog is amazing....isn't it? Inspiring. Another demonstration / manifestation of G-d's love. Sad thing is that I know (my kids don't yet) that one of these days Ali's love won't be around us....around our living room....in our backyard. To flip it....follow me here....Ali would have no issue if she had to scoop my poop, gather my puke, take me for a walk, take me to a Dr appt - but I complain when I have to do that for her even though she puts out constant love. Not just love for me, for my wife and kids....nothing speaks to me more than someone loving on my family!


Unconditional Love - Hard to come by.


I mean I have unconditional love in my life....towards my wife and kids. And here's the awesome part of "unconditional love"....REGARDLESS of their choices or offenses against me, I will continue to love them fully - give my life up for them at anytime. I've never felt more joy and at the same time more vulnerable (does that make sense?).

When we love, through that love, we get a clearer picture of G-d's love for us. Even when I'm unfaithful, He is faithful.

Changing my perspective

My kids love playing in our blowup pool (with slide!)... I would say that it ranks up there with a large box or blanket turned fort. I can't help think about life when I watch them play. As I fill up the pool for the sixth time in a one hour time frame, wasting water spraying them as they get close with ear to ear smiles....I can't help but be thankful. Thankful for clean water that my kids can drink and splash, a fenced in yard for protection, quiet neighborhood (no gunfire), toys that bring them joy - the list is long. Not a life of excess /consumerism, thankful for the simple life (perspective).

On the flip side of the coin, most people on this planet would consider that to be a rich lifestyle (perspective). I remember how the folks in Tijuana, Mexico looked at me when I came to inventory their manufacturing plant....I was making a whopping 13 bucks per hour at the time, compared to their 10 bucks per week, you'd think I was related to Donald Trump (perspective). They didn't have running water at home so they would put their feces in baskets next to the toilets.

Ironic.....I'm carefree with clean water - most don't have running water (insert any 3rd world country here). When I say it out loud, just doesn't make sense. For me, these kind of issues (local and abroad) get me down and completely overwhelmed, although I have the burning desire to make a difference.

My prayer is that G-d will lead me to impact in this world or my fear is that my kids will be writing a blog, just like this one, in 30 years.